Fortitude - Chapter 27

Xxx 27 xxX

I stood before my massive bay window, clutching a lavender shawl about my shoulders. Rainclouds darkened the sky outside, and the lingering fog obscured my view of Castletown, hiding all but the castle walls from view. Gazing out into the mist, I felt more trapped than ever before.

Two weeks had passed since I returned to the castle. Heather and I remained Ashton's prisoners in my own chamber, though I often attended court at his side or endured his company elsewhere—always within the castle grounds. Ashton's wedding plans were well under way, and castle staff rushed to make all the necessary arrangements. I contributed nothing to the preparations, but I did not resist them either, not even as they fitted me for my wedding gown.

Every night I searched the sky for Kaepora, praying he would deliver the Ocarina soon, but every night I went to bed disappointed. I slept very little, tormented by images of Link thrashing in anguish while the Sages fought to save him. If such visions didn't wake me well before dawn, my morning sickness often did.

Nothing could stifle the joy my unborn child brought me, but my happiness was tempered by fear. My previous miscarriage remained a painfully vivid memory, and I was desperate to keep my child safe. Ashton harbored an obsessive need to father my firstborn, an obsession that would surely intensify while that cursed staff dragged him deeper into madness. If he discovered my secret he would stop at nothing to terminate my child's life…

I closed my eyes, forcing myself to take a deep, calming breath. Knowing how easily—and quietly—Ashton could harm my child haunted me day and night. Nothing I ate or drank would be safe, and, considering my history, a miscarriage would be dismissed as another "unfortunate loss." Ashton was untouchable, and I was vulnerable.

My only solution was to leave the castle and return to Link, just as I had promised him. But I was trapped in my chambers, heavily guarded at all times, and I could not force my way out with magic. The Ocarina was my only means of escape; I could do nothing but wait for Keapora's return. Why Link had yet to return it only troubled me all the more. Did he keep it because he needed it, or was he unable to return it? Knowing him, I feared the latter was true…

"My Lady?"

I blinked, turning to find two maids watching at me with inquisitive, near worried looks. A cart laden with my breakfast stood beside them, and the smell of eggs made my stomach turn, as many smells seemed to do lately.

"Just leave it there, thank you," I told them quietly, turning back to the window.

"Forgive us, my Lady, but we have a… concern we wanted to discuss with you, if your Majesty would permit it."

My heart began to pound as I turned back to them, but I kept a calm expression. "What is it?"

The two exchanged nervous glances. "As you know," the elder maid began, "we are responsible for your clean sheets, and… Forgive me, my Lady… but we know you have not bled in more than two months."

I stared at them, struggling to keep the horror off my face.

"We know there has not been any sort of announcement—"

"If you believe I am carrying Ashton's child," I said sharply, "then you will disabuse yourself of the notion. I've had no relations with him."

Their expressions betrayed their uncertainty. "Forgive us, we didn't mean to imply—"

"That I have violated my vows? And how else should I have heard your accusation?"

"Please, your Majesty, you misunderstand," the elder maid stammered. "We only wish to help you. We've come to you now because we feared that he had… violated you."

My expression softened, and I was so startled, so moved that I struggled to find my voice. "Thank you… for your concern," I said softly. "I do appreciate it. But I spoke the truth: Ashton has not touched me. You have nothing to fear."

I drew closer then, my voice falling to a whisper. "Please don't speak a word of my… predicament-—to Ashton especially. I fear this may have more to do with my… fertility troubles, and I cannot bear any more harassment."

"Of course, my Lady," the elder maid assured me, her face filled with sympathy. The younger maid nodded her agreement.

"What are your names?" I asked them.

"Mira, my Lady. And this is my daughter, Nelana."

Gently I took their hands in mine, giving them an appreciative squeeze.

"I thank you, Mira and Nelana, for your discretion—and for looking after me," I said, looking them both in the eyes. "...I will not forget this."

xxxxxxx

After another unpleasant—but thankfully uneventful—midday meal with Ashton at court, I returned to my chamber for some much needed privacy and rest.

At least, that was my official excuse. As Heather's sole caretaker, I returned to my chamber so I could tend to her.

Closing the entrance door behind me, I was relieved to see a meal tray had been left on the table. Lifting it up, I crossed the room and paused before the room Heather used as her own.

"Heather?" I called to her. "May I come in?"

Her muffled reply assured me I could, and I entered to find her sitting cross legged on her bed with a book in her lap. She looked up when I entered, returning my smile as I closed the door behind me.

"How are you feeling?" I greeted her, placing the tray on a small table and settling into the chair beside her bed.

"I'm all right," she said in her usual optimistic tone. "I think I've figured out the least painful positions for sitting or lying down, but some spots are beginning to itch a little. It's probably good that I can't reach them," she added with a sigh.

"I thought that would start soon," I said, giving her a sympathetic look. "Today I'll use two different salves and apply them to different healing stages. The new one should help soothe that itchiness. So what would you like first—fresh food or fresh bandages? I have salad and sandwiches for you, so your food won't go cold."

"In that case I choose fresh bandages," Heather said, looking up at me with a grimace.

"I thought you might."

Carefully she raised her arms, allowing me to lift her gown up over her head. Setting it on the bed within her reach, I then turned away to prepare her salves, giving her some privacy while she resituated herself on the bed.

"I'm ready," she told me.

I turned to see her lying on her stomach, half covered by a blanket with her face turned toward the far wall. Folding down the blanket to expose her back, I sat beside her and slowly began to cut away her bandages.

"You seem to know a lot about medicine and healing," Heather said. "Should all noblewomen be trained in such things?"

"Goodness, no," I replied. "The art of healing is noble work but hardly clean enough for a proper lady. Anyone who learns does so by choice. I began my training with Impa when I was a small child, and I have always been devoted to my studies. I became a qualified healer by age fourteen, and later my father permitted me to serve during the Retribution War."

"I remember that," Heather said. "There was a great deal of talk about it."

"Yes," I sighed. "The gossip only worsened when I brought my husband home—of course he wasn't my husband at the time."

"That's right…" Heather murmured. "He was badly injured…"

"Yes," I said softly.

Heather was quiet a moment, and I knew she was considering her next words carefully. In her mind, Link was still a delicate subject.

"What happened to him?" she finally asked, her voice soft.

I paused a moment, searching for a vague but truthful explanation. "He and his men were ambushed during a scout mission… He was the only survivor."

"That's terrible… And you cared for him yourself? Is that how you fell in love?"

I couldn't help my smile. "No, Link and I had been romantically involved since before the war."

Heather seemed stunned. "You kept it secret for five years?"

"Yes. It's why I never courted anyone after Ashton. I was so careful all those years… so careful to keep it secret. But after seeing him like that, suffering on the brink of death… I didn't care anymore," I added softly. "I wanted the world to know he was mine… and that I would have no other."

Silence fell as I set the used bandages aside and cleaned the excess paste from Heather's back.

"...I'm sorry," she finally said. "It must be very painful for you to talk about him… I don't know how you find the strength to endure all of this."

I shook my head and reached for the salve, saddened that she could say such a thing while I treated her wounds. "...I'm not as strong as you think."

Gently I applied the green paste to her most tender wounds. Unsightly though it was, the salve had a cooling effect, and I felt her relax beneath my fingers.

"That's nonsense; of course you are…"

"Let me know if I hurt you," I said abruptly, eager to change the subject. Talking as though Link were dead was still too difficult without the bond.

Heather sighed but did not press the subject. "You're always very gentle," she murmured. "More so than my own mother."

My hand faltered on her back.

"Oh, I didn't mean to compare you to my mother," she said quickly. "You're much younger of course; I just—"

"You didn't offend me," I assured her, reaching for more salve. "It saddens me to hear you say that. You're such a kind and gentle person; I had assumed you were raised by wonderful parents. You say your mother was harsh?"

"She's always been very… stern," Heather said slowly. "Ambitious. My father was the gentle one. Too gentle, I think. He never raised his voice to anyone… He rarely voiced his opinion at all. My mother, she held everything together. The house, our business… My father helped of course, but she was in charge. I don't know if he was always soft, or if he gave up along the way, but… as long as I can remember, she made all the decisions.

"My father was content with the life we had, but my mother wanted more. She raised me to be a proper lady, so I might one day ensnare the heart of some lord and marry into the royal court. She never approved of Adam… She tried to send me away to a finishing school, partly to discourage my friendship with him, but my father wouldn't allow it. I think that was the only time he ever stood up to her—that I can recall, at least. My mother found me a tutor instead."

"And that's why Adam joined the military," I said slowly, recalling what little conversation I had shared with him all those months ago, "to earn your mother's approval by achieving a knight's status in my court."

Heather sighed. "Yes. It was an impossible goal. Adam isn't a soldier, certainly not a lieutenant. He's never liked any kind of confrontation… but he's also stubborn to a fault."

"What did he study before he joined the military?" I asked her.

"Carpentry," Heather murmured. "He loves to build things… work with his hands… He was part of the Kakariko project."

I raised my brow, recalling the expansion project Impa had started in Kakariko Village before the Retribution War.

"As a builder?" I asked her. "But there was an age minimum…"

"And he was only fifteen at the time, yes," Heather replied, a note of sadness in her voice. "The committee made an exception when they saw his work."

"Yes, I remember… Impa did mention a young builder with exceptional talent… and Impa is not easily impressed. Yet it wasn't enough to impress your mother?"

"It was irrelevant," Heather sighed. "Marrying a carpenter, exceptional or not, would not bring me any closer to the royal court."

I shook my head, disgusted by such prejudice. "I'm sorry."

"None of it matters now," Heather murmured, bitterness darkening her tone. "Adam and I are both prisoners here. I may never see him again."

"Don't you talk like that," I said firmly. "Honestly, Heather, I wouldn't be surprised if Adam has already been released."

"Released?" she breathed. "But… but his sentence…"

"Adam deserted the military under my husband's command. Ashton would delight in releasing him, especially since I sentenced him. Besides," I added bitterly, "Ashton needs room for all of his so-called traitors."

Heather was a quiet a moment. "...You really think he's been released? I know that's dishonorable, but considering the circumstances…"

"Don't worry about Adam," I assured her, setting the salve aside and cleaning my hands with a fresh cloth. "He'll be all right, one way or another. You are in far more danger, Heather."

She paused, resting her head on her arm. "I know," she whispered. "I'm… involved now."

"It's more than that," I said, reaching for a roll of bandages.

"What do you mean?"

"I am indebted to you, Heather, in more ways than one. And I will not leave this castle without you."

At this she turned to look me in the eyes, clutching the covers to her chest. "You're going to leave?"

I nodded. "I plan to join the Resistance. There is nothing more I can do here. I will not be forced into a marriage with Ashton."

"But how? The Ocarina—"

"Will be returned to me," I assured her. "And when it is, you and I will both slip away undetected. By the time Ashton knows we're gone, you and I will be far beyond his reach."

Heather searched my face, her eyes glinting with tears. "You mean it? You'll really take me with you? Can you do that?"

I brought my hand to her cheek, saddened by the utter relief in her face.

"I can," I whispered. "And I will; I swear to you."

A loud knock then sounded outside the room, startling us both. Inwardly I cursed and urged Heather to lie back down.

"You stay here," I told her, making sure the covers did not touch the salve on her back. I'll get rid of them and come back to wrap your bandages."

She murmured her nervous acknowledgement, and hurriedly I left the room, closing the door just as two Vandelians forced their way into my chamber.

"His Majesty, Lord Ashton," one announced.

Ashton strode in behind him, looking smug with his thumbs tucked into his belt.

"Good afternoon, Zelda dearest," he greeted me with unusual cheerfulness. Two attendants entered behind him, each carrying flat boxes of varying sizes.

"What is this?" I demanded, watching as they carried the boxes into my bedroom.

"Surely you haven't forgotten our celebration next week?" Ashton replied. "I come bearing gifts for my bride."

"I prefer not to think about it," I said coldly, drawing my shawl about my shoulders. "And I don't want your gifts."

"My my, so ungrateful," Ashton chided. "And yet I spoil you anyway. Come and admire, dearest."

I stiffened when he placed his hand on my back and ushered me into the bedroom. There the attendants opened the largest box and pulled out a blood red gown, holding it up for me to admire. Layers of crimson skirts fell toward the floor, and elaborate gold embroidery shone in the light, as did countless tiny gems sewn into the bodice. A number of accessories came with it, including jewels and shoes. All I noticed, however, was the scandalously low neckline.

"Stunning, isn't it?" Ashton beamed. "This is the latest fashion in Vandelius, and you will wear it to honor my homeland. My guests will love it, especially when they see how ravishingly well you wear it."

"Your guests?" I asked, feeling the weight in my chest grow heavier.

Ashton turned to give me a knowing, unamused look.

"I know what you're thinking, dearest," he said coldly. "But I dare not allow my family to travel until that damned Resistance is eradicated. We will have the usual guests for our engagement gala, but fear not, my sweet—the roads will be safe again in time for the wedding, and we shall have ourselves a glorious family reunion."

I averted my gaze, swallowing my bitter retort. He knew how much I detested his family.

"Hmm."

I glanced back to find Ashton studying me with with an intense, scrutinizing gaze.

"You're too thin," he said. "And you look… unwell."

He reached for my chin, frowning when I quickly pulled away.

"Some powder will hide most of it… but your habits had better improve, Zelda. I will not have you looking like some underfed peasant in that gown."

I cast him a cold glare. "But you would have me look like an expensive harlot?"

Ashton scoffed, but I caught the satisfied gleam in his eye. "You've always been such a prude, Zelda. All of you Hylians are far too modest. I think it's high time I loosened your bonds a bit."

I shook my head and moved toward the balcony, turning my attention to the gardens below. "Are you finished?" I asked in a hollow tone.

"How about a little gratitude before I go?" Ashton crept up behind me, so close I felt his breath on my cheek. "Be grateful I'm dressing you that night," he murmured, "and not undressing you."

Disgust churned my stomach, but I kept my mouth shut, afraid to push the subject any further.

"Fear not, dearest," he added lightly. "That time will come soon enough. We have to save something for our wedding night…"

His hand slipped under my shawl and across my hip—until I snatched his wrist, twisting it as I whirled around to face him. Ashton cried out and jerked his hand away—then slapped me with the other.

I stumbled back, cradling my cheek while he nursed his wrist. I had acted on instinct, without thinking, but that hardly mattered.

"You startled me," I said, hoping to diffuse the situation. All I could think about was Heather lying dangerously close, vulnerable to his wrath.

Ashton dropped his hand and adjusted his clothes, regaining his haughty demeanor.

"You ever do that again," he hissed, pointing his finger at me. "And I'll reconsider our little arrangement."

With that he turned and stormed out of the room, followed by his guards. I released the breath I'd been holding, near dizzy with relief. Behind me the attendants quickly busied themselves with Ashton's packages, having paused to watch our little demonstration.

"Leave me," I said, turning my back to them. "Now."

Quickly they obeyed, leaving the boxes strewn about my bed. I lingered there in the silence, swallowing hard as I searched the ever looming clouds above.

Farore, I beg of you… Send me the Ocarina… Help me return to him.