Fortitude - Chapter 3

Xxx 3 xxX

Slowly I wandered the castle gardens, clutching my lavender shawl about my shoulders. The cold air seeped through its thin material, adding to the chill I felt inside. Brown, lifeless plants surrounded me, and above me stretched a grey, cloudy sky. It seemed nature itself wished to dampen my spirits.

I sank onto a bench near a barren rose bush, rubbing my arms to warm myself. Heeding Impa's suggestion, I had left the castle to pull Link from his duties so we could discuss Ashton's letter. I hoped to go somewhere more private, preferably beyond the castle grounds…

Yet I lingered there in the gardens, reluctant to follow through. The letter would bring him nothing but distress, and I had no desire to upset him.

He has to know.

I closed my eyes and sighed, struggling to empty my mind. The incident in court hindered my concentration, but years of experience enabled me to focus. Gently I sought the one mind bound to mine, sending him my thoughts with ease.

Link? Am I interrupting?

I sensed his surprise — I rarely interrupted his duties.

Zelda? Is everything all right?

I… I need to speak with you.

Link's alarm pulsed through the bond. What's wrong? Did something happen?

No — Well, yes, but… I sighed and shook my head. Can you get away for a while? Maybe an hour or so?

I think I can do that — just a minute.

I sensed his concentration shift, and I knew he had gone to speak with Clef — Captain Clepharas Bard. He was Link's second-in-command and a dear friend to both of us.

All right, I'm leaving the training grounds, Link said a few minutes later. Where are you?

In the garden by the rose bushes.

Aside from their seasonal beauty, the gardens provided a necessary division between the castle courtyards and the training grounds. They stretched for hundreds of acres on all sides, separating the castle from the soldiers' barracks and the stables.

Five minutes later I spied Link heading toward me, looking every part the Lord General in his dark blue uniform. His black cloak billowed in the wind, and his sword, Valéshar, hung at his waist in a gilded sheath. He rarely walked the grounds without it.

He smiled when he saw me, his golden hair blowing about his face. I dropped my shawl and ran into his warm, comforting embrace.

"Where is your cloak?" he asked as we parted, glancing toward the bench. "Is that all you brought?"

I gave him a sheepish look, and he removed his own cloak with a sigh.

"For heaven's sake," he muttered, wrapping the heavy material around my shoulders and pinning it in place.

"But now you'll be cold…"

He waved a dismissive hand. "My uniform is much warmer than your gown. And here, look — I can wear your shawl." He moved toward the bend and took the garment, wrapping it around his shoulders. "What do you think?"

A surge of amusement broke through my melancholy. "I think I need my pictobox," I replied with a smile.

"Oh no you don't," Link grinned as he pulled off the shawl. "That pictograph would go straight to the flames. I have a reputation to protect."

Had I been in higher spirits, I would have continued our playful banter, but I could not find the energy. Link set the shawl aside and came closer, his smile softening as he took my face in his hands.

"So how come you called me off duty, hmm?" he murmured, stroking his thumbs over my rosy cheeks.

"I was hoping you could steal me away somewhere," I replied softly.

"I think that can be arranged. Where did you have in mind?"

"Some kind of hideaway," I murmured, trailing my fingers along his chest. "Like we used to do… "

Link studied me a moment, then pressed a kiss to my forehead, just above my circlet.

"We should probably leave the proper way this time," he said with a smile.

.

Before long we arrived at the royal stables, which housed the finest steeds in Hyrule, including my palomino mare, Clover, and Link's rusty-coated mare, Epona.

"Hello, beautiful," I murmured, reaching up to stroke Clover's long, sleek neck. "Want to go for a ride?"

The stable workers moved to saddle her for me, but I politely refused them, preferring to do it myself. Link did the same with Epona.

"At least two guards should accompany you," a familiar voice spoke behind us.

I turned to face the tall, slender man stood behind us, his muscled arms crossed and his whiskered face drawn in a frown. He radiated authority, garbed in the golden armor of a high-ranking officer, but I recognized the protective concern in his soft blue gaze.

"She's with me, Ian," Link said, adjusting Epona's bridle. "We won't need guards."

"Both of you should have protection, your Highness," Ian replied.

"We only need an hour or so," I said as I mounted Clover.

"Fair enough, but if you don't return by then I'll send half the Guard after you."

"That won't be necessary," Link said, mounting Epona and urging her into a gallop.

"See that it isn't!" Ian called as we hurried off toward the Northern Gate, which led into the wilderness beyond the castle grounds.

Race you, Link's taunt echoed through my mind. I grinned and spurred Clover on, tailing close behind him as we rode toward the distant forest.

xxxxxxx

Within minutes we reached the forest and slowed our horses to a walk. A small glade opened before us, and there we dismounted, letting the horses graze as we pressed on by foot.

The leafless trees made underwhelming scenery, but the surrounding stillness and soft birdsongs created a feeling of sanctuary. Brisk air filled my lungs, tinged with the earthy scent of fertile soil.

Link removed his gloves and reached for my hand, leading me deeper into the glade. A rush of nostalgia swept through me, and I found myself retracing the long, winding path we had walked together, propelled by true but forbidden love…

.

Our friendship had struggled during our early adolescent years, mainly because of my relationship with Ashton. I had come to regret this during my prolonged visit to Vandelius, and I returned home anxious to reconcile with him. Our past squabbles had been all but forgotten in the hardship of war, and rekindling our friendship had been effortless.

At that point I had not fully realized the depth of Link's own heartache. For months he had faced the terrors of war, focusing on his duties while struggling to forget his unrequited love for me. He had found purpose in his role as Lieutenant of the Third Legion, but the untimely death of Captain Shayne — whom Link grew to love like a father — had left him devastated. In honor of Shayne's wishes — and Kinsley's recommendation — my father promoted Link to Captain shortly before my return. This only added to Link's troubles, however, since his elevated rank distanced him from his fellow soldiers. Wrought with grief and loneliness, Link had struggled with depression and doubt.

He concealed these feelings well, just as I hid my own despair, and a few weeks passed before Link allowed himself to confide in me. Before long, I allowed myself to confide in him as well. Discussing our deepest fears had drawn us closer, but my resignation to marry Ashton brought Link endless frustration.

As the months passed, however, my resolve began to weaken. My friendship with Link slowly blossomed into something much deeper — something others might call romantic, but I felt the word belittled our feelings. Where Ashton resorted to empty clichés, Link offered me honesty and respect. Where Ashton was aggressive and physical, Link was tender and selfless. The feelings Link inspired in me were warm, pure, and lacked any trace of the uncertainty I felt with Ashton. I realized I had fallen in love with Link — truly in love — and it frightened me.

As my sixteenth birthday crept closer, Ashton came to stay at Hyrule Castle a few weeks before the wedding, and everything fell apart when Ashton discovered I was courting another man. He could not prove that man was Link, for he had never actually seen us, but it hardly mattered. Ashton was the Prince of Vandelius — he needed no evidence to accuse Link. Such actions would destroy Link's reputation, possibly even his life. Stripped of any alternative, I was forced to end our relationship.

For weeks Link and I avoided each other. I was terrified of being seen with him, and he couldn't face more rejection. Then finally, on the night of my sixteenth birthday gala, I followed Link into the castle gardens, where he had gone to escape the party. I had meant to thank him, to tell him how much I loved him before we parted ways for good — but Link never gave me the chance. Although he had come to accept our relationship was impossible, he refused to watch me sacrifice my future. So he insisted — demanded — I tell my father the truth about Ashton.

"If you don't tell him everything," he told me, "then I will."

His words had frightened me. Link had earned a favorable reputation in my father's court, but such his accusations against Ashton could have resulted in his banishment from court — possibly worse. I begged him to not interfere, but Link was determined to save me. He gave me three days to speak with my father, or else he would go himself, and I promised I would try.

Within the next week my betrothal had been severed. If not for Link's interference, nothing would have changed. I would have left my beloved Hyrule, forced to live out my long, miserable years as Ashton's wife…

.

"It's a bit dreary this time of year…"

Link's voice drew me back to the present, and I slowed us to a stop, my eyes fixed on the ground.

"Zelda…?"

I lifted my head, smiling at his concerned expression. "It's perfect," I whispered, reaching up around his neck, "…and so are you."

Then tenderly I kissed him, aware of his confusion as he kissed me back.

"You know," he said when we parted, his hands caressing my back, "we don't have to flee the castle grounds for these little interludes anymore."

I laughed softly. "Sometimes it's good to break away," I breathed, tiptoeing up for another kiss. "Keeps things interesting…"

His hands moved to my shoulders, stopping me just short of his lips.

"Darling," he said softly. "We haven't needed to 'break away' like this since our marriage. I know something upset you today…"

I pulled away with a sigh, unsure how to begin. Link and I had known about Ashton's coronation for months, and we had braced ourselves for more trouble from Vandelius. My recurring dreams left me convinced something would go wrong, yet nothing happened. Then, just as our worries began to fade, Ashton's letter arrived.

Sensing my darkening mood, Link moved to embrace me from behind, wrapping me in the cloak I still wore.

"Please tell me what's troubling you," he murmured against my cheek.

I hesitated, then breathed another heavy sigh. "…All right."

Gently he released me, and together we settled down onto the grass. I kept my eyes on the ground, smoothing imaginary wrinkles from my gown.

"Come here," Link murmured, reaching for my arm. I let him draw me onto his lap and lay my head on his shoulder.

"So what's bothering you?" he asked, his warm hand caressing my back. "Did something happen at court?"

My head snapped up. "What do you mean? Why would you ask that? Did someone say something?"

Link gave a startled laugh. "No one said anything to me," he soothed. "Something did happen, then?"

I hesitated, unwilling to discuss what happened at court. "No," I answered, glancing down at the grass. "I — I made a fool of myself, that's all."

"Tell me what happened."

I met his gaze, aware of his gentle concern flowing through the bond.

"It was… something Alicia said — Alicia Grefaire."

Link sighed. "What did she say now?"

"She… she made some snide remark. About us having no child. It was nothing, Link, but I… I reacted badly."

Anger darkened his features, and I sensed how much the issue unsettled him.

"It was nothing?" he exclaimed. "She has no right to comment about it at all — certainly not to your face!"

"That's what I said… more or less. But it was a mistake."

"How is that? She's too outspoken, Zelda."

"I know. But I shouldn't react at all… not in the way I did. A queen should never lose her composure, especially before her court."

"Zelda —"

"Link, don't you understand? All this time we've been so careful about appearances, pretending nothing is wrong… but I've broken that illusion. I was defensive… and now they know I'm afraid…" My voice shook as tears stung my eyes. "There have been whispers, Link… They talk of a curse on us…"

"And it's nonsense," he soothed. "You know that…"

"Then why?" I pleaded, my voice breaking with frustrated sobs. "Why can't I conceive? Why do the gods deny us a child? Have I done something to displease them?"

"Zelda, of course not," he stammered, clearly alarmed by my distress. "Come here…"

I wrapped my arms around his neck, muffling my quiet sobs against his shoulder.

"Oh, Zelda," he whispered, running his hand along my back. "I don't understand it either… But there's no reason to despair…"

I tightened my hold on him, painfully aware of his own emotions flowing through our bond. All his life Link had longed for a family — something he never had as a child — and I ached to give him one. I hated myself for disappointing him month after month, but I never sensed any such feelings from him. He grieved with me, and he shared my frustration, but he never blamed me.

Ashton would never have shown such compassion. He was a shameless and demanding chauvinist. I remembered how he would mention the children — the sons — he expected me to bear without ever bothering to consider my feelings on the matter. He would have resented my fertility struggles, maybe even punished me for them, one way or another. I shuddered to think how close I had come to that misery…

"Let's think about this logically a minute," Link murmured, his warm hands caressing my back. "Consider your family history, Zelda. Your ancestors have ruled Hyrule for hundreds of years. Other families have joined with yours, but the Harkinian line has been Hyrule's constant for generations. Why would that die with you?"

I lifted my head to meet his gaze, wearing a gloomy expression.

"The Goddesses have blessed you in more ways than one," he added softly. "Years might pass before we have a child, but I know it will happen when the time is right."

I considered his words, drying my tears with his cloak. "All of that is true," I mumbled, "but it still scares me."

"It scares me too," he soothed, running his hands along my waist. "But I won't give up hope. All we can do is keep trying."

He looked so concerned, so eager to console me… I couldn't help the smile which tugged at my lips.

"Thank you," I murmured, stroking his cheek.

He leaned into my touch. "For being logical?"

"For being you."

He returned my smile and leaned in to kiss me, a tender gesture I gladly returned.

"Is there something else I should know?" he murmured.

I knew he sensed my lingering worry, but I still hesitated to tell him about the letter. I had spent half the hour mourning our uncertain future; how could I thrust another burden on his shoulders halfway through the day?

"No," I replied, brushing his hair out of his eyes. "Nothing that can't wait until later."

He studied me a moment. "...You sure?"

I nodded, moving my hands to caress his shoulders. "Please don't worry... I'm sorry I dragged you all the way out here."

"Hm," he murmured, running his fingers through my long golden locks. "Well, I'm not."

I looked at him fondly, silencing my guilt as he kissed me again.

xxxxxxx

Link was last to join Impa and me for our usual private dinner. His tardiness had worried me, but he knew nothing of Ashton's letter. Impa had been exasperated by my failure to tell him, though she promised not to bring it up over dinner. We shared a more pleasant meal because of this, though I knew Link suspected something was amiss.

Later, when we had retired to our chambers and changed into our nightclothes, Link went to read by the fire while I lingered in the bedroom, studying Ashton's letter in my hand.

What are you doing in there? Link's gentle voice broke through my troubled thoughts. Come sit with me.

I knew he could sense my unease and likely wished to discuss it. Knowing I had avoided the issue long enough, I folded the letter and went to join him in the drawing room.

He looked up as I approached the sofa and set his book aside. "What's wrong?" he said gently. "Is what Alicia said still bothering you?"

"No, it's not that," I murmured, watching him glance at the letter in my hands.

"What is that?" he asked.

"This," I sighed, "is what I meant to speak with you about earlier today. But after our conversation, I… I thought it best to wait until evening."

Link gave a light sigh and set his book aside. "I knew there was something else," he muttered. "Is it a letter?"

I nodded, forcing my eyes to meet his. "…From Ashton."

Link met my gaze, his eyes widening. "Ashton...?"

"Link, we knew this would come —"

"Let me see it," he demanded, rising from the sofa. Despite his angry tone, I felt his fear rush through the bond.

I handed him the letter, watching as he turned away to read it. Despite his silent, stoic exterior, I sensed his fear quickly darken into rage. With one hand he crumpled the letter and cast it into the fire, watching it burn to ash.

"You are not going anywhere near Vandelle Castle," he said quietly.

"Of course not," I soothed. "But Ashton's request is not unreasonable. We have to compromise somehow…"

Link crossed his arms, still refusing to meet my gaze, and I paused to consider my next words.

"…Impa suggested we create a rendezvous site," I told him, "right on the southern border. Neither of us would have to enter the other's territory."

"…I suppose you'll attend this rendezvous without me?" His bitterness swept through the bond like a gust of cold air.

"That is your decision," I assured him "Ashton has no right to deny you, and we have every right to refuse him."

Link scoffed. "I'm sure the Council says otherwise." He sighed then, turning to meet my troubled gaze. "I can't win, Zelda. If we refuse him, people will call me petty and selfish. If we cooperate, people will say I'm weak and dismissible."

"No one needs to know he tried to exclude you," I said gently.

Link gave me a cynical look. "What are they supposed to think when you leave without me?"

"I won't leave without you," I said firmly. "But — to compromise — I thought you could have your own camp near the rendezvous site. Then you could join us if anything developed, and no one would know Ashton had tried to reject you."

Link sighed and looked away. "The Alliance would know."

"They would also know we tolerated Ashton's offense, and that our desire for peace is sincere."

"…Ashton would consider it a victory," Link said as he crossed his arms. "It would only encourage him."

I paused to study him a moment, aware of his growing frustration. "Encourage him to do what?"

Link hesitated, staring into the fire until he shrugged one shoulder. "…Din only knows.".

I sighed, knowing he could sense my disappointment. There it was — his quiet withdrawal. Our bond enabled me to sense his emotions, but I could not read his mind. In some ways he was still the private, complicated man I had known before our marriage, a puzzle I couldn't always piece together.

Gently I slipped my arms around his waist, embracing him from behind.

I will support your decision, no matter what you choose, I assured him, resting my head against his back. That is your right as my husband, and my duty as your wife.

Link placed his hand over mine, and his warm appreciation flowed into me, followed by his other conflicting emotions.

If only it were that simple, he whispered. I'm sure the Council expects me to stand aside, and I see no reason to refuse. Ashton can have his way this time.

I tightened my hold on him, keenly aware of his bitterness. This time will be the last time, I promised him. Oh, Link, if I had my way —

I know, he said gently. It's not your fault.

Gently he pulled away, avoiding my gaze as he turned to leave the room. I followed him into the bedchamber, stunned that our discussion was over. I had not expected a debate, but…

He barely expresses himself anymore.

"So you'll accompany me on the road, then?" I asked him gently.

"Seems like I have little choice," he replied, locking the balcony doors and closing the curtains. "I'll accompany you as far as I can."

He tossed his robe onto a nearby chair and approached the bed, pausing to extinguish the lamp on his bedside table. Link rarely retired so early, but I sensed he had lost the energy for much else. Slipping off my own robe, I draped it over his and moved to join him under the covers. There I hesitated, aware of the anger still simmering beneath his quiet exterior.

"I'm supposed to present our decision to the Council tomorrow morning," I told him, tentatively caressing his shoulder. "Will you come with me?"

"Fine," he murmured.

"You're handling this admirably; I want them to see that."

He didn't answer, and I felt something tighten in my chest. I knew he believed the Council cared little about his opinion, save perhaps Kinsley, but I was determined to show him otherwise.

Softly I kissed his cheek and stretched out beside him, still massaging his shoulder.

Are you sure you don't want to discuss this more? I asked him.

No. Go to sleep.

You're angry with me.

Not with you.

But you are because of me, I insisted, pulling my hand away. Because of what I am…

"Don't start that," Link said, turning over to face me. "We've been through this many times. Yes, our marriage has its frustrations, but that doesn't mean I love you any less, nor do I regret being your husband. Not for a moment, Zelda."

"I love you too," I murmured, my voice small and unsteady.

Link sighed and drew me closer, burying his face against my throat. Tenderly I stroked his hair, glad to feel him draw comfort in me. I searched his emotions, seeking the source of his fears, but found nothing before he fell asleep in my arms. I held him a while longer, worrying about his happiness until sleep mercifully claimed me as well.